Today is a year from the events that changed my life. August 14, 2014. I am going from the UVC base in Kyiv for two days to perform at a concert "Black Sun" in support of the “Azov” battalion. Dirty, tired, and hungry. Halfway my phone rings. Father Peter, UVC’s chaplain. I hear in the tube: "Sorry for such news, but I have to tell - “Zirvanyj” didn’t return from the battle near Illovaysk ..." After verifying accuracy of the news, I say goodbye, hang up and … And the world collapsed for me. The earth was floating under my feet. Suddenly all my miserable life crumbled. The convoy stopped. I'm going for a smoke. I am squatting on a side of the road, smoking a cigarette. The boys are standing near the cars in silence. “Shprot” is attempting to hug me by the shoulders, saying something awkwardly. What a stupid dream .. Let’s move. Where am I going? What for? For all things worth coming back alive have just disappeared. I am dialing a number and asking to make me a suicide belt. Planning a walk in Donetsk. No tears, no hysteria, just hate, hate, hate toward those assholes that killed my sun, my kitten, my sense of life, my “Zirvanyj” … How so? I have so much to tell him, to do for him, to kiss him, to hug him, to love him. Why the time I could dedicate to him was spent for nothing? The next 2.5 hours on the road I was thinking, hating, cursing, and did not want to believe. And suddenly a call from “Sweetheart”. My heart stopped. Probably the separatists are calling regarding the body, I thought. “Honey, everything is alright with me. I am alive.” He called. The world turned upside down for me again. He survived!!!

I became the happiest woman in the world. But my attitude toward my dearest one in the world changed in the root. No more fights, no more arguments over chores. I only want him to be around. I treasure every moment, every word, his every breath. Since then I feel very happy, because I have him, the love of my life, my husband, “Zirvanyj”. I am thankful to God for returning him to me and for teaching me to appreciate and cherish.